Between visiting family, attending parties, traveling, and spending money on it all, chances are you and your partner will argue at some point over something during the holidays, and that’s OK. Navigating this busy season isn’t so much about avoiding arguments at all costs, but about how you resolve conflicts with your partner. And according to astrologers, each zodiac sign will go about it differently.
Everyone has their own way of overcoming an argument that best suits their personality, whether it’s calling their partner out in the moment, finding a quiet time to talk things over, or letting small issues roll of their back until it can be discussed at a later date. Astrologically speaking, “our conflict style tends to be a combination of our Sun, Moon, and Mars,” Rebecca M. Farrar, MA, an archetypal astrologer, tells Bustle, so every sign will be a bit different.
Something anyone can do, though, is practice a little patience, especially during such a busy and stressful time. “Focusing on the many things you love about someone […] can be a great place to start, as well as focusing on what you need or want instead of placing blame on the other person,” Farrar says. With that in mind, read on for the best ways to handle conflict with your partner, based on your zodiac sign.
1. Aries (March 21 – April 19): Make Time For Honest Communication
In order to quickly resolve conflict this holiday season, Aries will want to be as honest as possible with their partner. This sign is known for sharing what’s on their mind, and they can come off a bit blunt at times, astrologer Clarisse Monahan, tells Bustle, but they can use this trait to their advantage, too.
There will be a full moon on December 12th, Monahan says, which could make for the perfect time to sit down together and have a good chat. Aries can use this moment to share whatever’s been weighing heavily on their mind, and maybe even come up with ways to feel closer to their partner.
2. Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Address Problems Right Away
Taurus is known for their stubbornness, Farrar says, but that doesn’t mean they want to fight. As a sign that’s all about maintaining close connections, they’ll feel much better if they address problems as they arise, instead of turning away or expecting their partner to read their mind.
They might even want to let their partner know that they like to be comforted, especially if they seem to be shutting down. By understanding each other’s needs, Taurus can come together with their partner, resolve conflicts, and get back to enjoying the coziness of the season.
3. Gemini (May 21 – June 20): Use Clear Communication
Gemini has a tendency to over-intellectualize conflict, Farrar says, which can easily result in an entire day spent over-explaining themselves, while never actually resolving anything. They’re also prone to black and white thinking, Farrar says, so using clearer communication combined with seeing both sides of the story can come in handy.
This will save them time going back and forth, talking too much, and over-thinking. By making a point to have clearer communication, Gemini can skip these multiple, convoluted steps, and spare themselves a lot of potentially holiday-ruining drama.
4. Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Pay Attention
Cancer tends to avoid any and all conflict in life. They’re much too sweet and caring, Dr. Elisa Robyn, PhD, an astrologer and astrology transitions consultant, tells Bustle, and don’t like to get caught up in arguments. Instead, they’re all about sharing the love with their partner, and going out of their way to make the holidays feel as cozy as possible.
That said, they will get themselves in trouble if they don’t listen. “Sometimes you are so focused on what a person should feel that you do not hear what they really want,” Robyn says. Cancer can prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings by taking the time to listen, and making sure they truly understand their partner.
5. Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22): Be Fair & Understanding
“You are so good at being in charge that you sometimes forget that other people like to lead, and are capable of leading,” Robyn says. That’s why, if Leo is going to have any conflict this season, it’ll likely stem from their partner ignored.
To prevent arguments, Leo should slow down and let their partner share in the responsibility of making plans. By letting go of some of the control, their partner will feel more included, and they’ll both feel more like a team as a result. Once this balance is struck, they’ll be able to enjoy the holidays, without one person feeling misunderstood.
6. Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22): Be Open To New Plans
It’s tough for Virgo to enjoy the holidays without having every little detail planned out. But if they want to resolve conflicts this year, they will need to loosen up a bit.
“Your need for perfection stands in the way of your happiness,” Robyn says. “Your tendency to measure everything against your personal standards can frustrate your partner. Sometimes good is better than perfect, especially if you are together enjoying each other. Focus on the relationship and let go of your judgments.”
This will result in a much more relaxing and fulfilling holiday, even if Virgo doesn’t check everything off their to-do list.
7. Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22): Participate More
Libra is fairly easy going as a sign, and might not find themselves caught up in too much conflict during the holidays. But they should still practice putting up a few boundaries, just in case, Robyn says.
One easy way to have a say in their schedule is by participating in the planning process, Robyn says. Libra should speak up and let their partner know what sounds good and what doesn’t, and take some ownership. Their partner will appreciate this show of passion, Robyn says, and that will help deepen their relationship.
8. Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21): Take A Deep Breath
As a naturally intense sign, Scorpio can easily seem way angrier than they actually are when things go wrong, and it can cause their partner to withdrawal or feel overwhelmed, Robyn says. The trouble is, this only further shuts down the discussion, and can make it difficult to resolve issues.
To have an easier time, Scorpio should take a deep breath to make sure they’re calm before going into a tough conversation, Robyn says. Or they should tell their partner when they simply need to vent, so nothing is taken personally, then have the conversation once they’ve blown off some steam, Robyn says.
That way, their partner will feel more relaxed and open to figuring out a solution.
9. Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21): Ask For Your Partner’s Opinion
Sagittarius is the type to strike out on their own, often leaving their partner behind, Robyn says. If a conflict arises, chances are it’s because Sagittarius either neglected their partner, or left them to deal with all the details, while they have all the fun.
To resolve any issues that come up, it’ll help for them to pay better attention to their partner. “Ask your partner’s opinion and include them in future plans,” Robyn says. They can help out with the details, too — like packing, organizing plane tickets, etc. — in order to make the relationship feel more balanced.
10. Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19): Think About Deeper Needs
“You provide the stability in your relationship which is lovely, but relationships need more than just stability,” Robyn says. “They need a bit of romance and adventure, kindness, attention, and caring.”
If conflicts arise this holiday reason, Capricorn should consider what might be missing from their relationship. “Arguments are often about our deeper needs,” Robyn says. “Do some soul searching for your true motivation and be ready to talk about it.”
This will come in handy, too, if it feels like conflict keeps occurring. If that’s the case, it likely has nothing to do with stressful holiday plans, but something that’ll require a closer look.
11. Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18): Communicate More Often
Aquarius manages conflict through dismissal, and they tend to be emotionally detached, too, Farrar says. They are an air sign after all, so they often find themselves getting caught up in their thoughts, without ever expressing what’s on their mind to their partner.
And that’s why open communication is key for Aquarius, Farrar says. If they want to move past a conflict, they’ll need to talk about it honestly. Their partner may be used to guessing what’s on their mind, but with all the stress of the holidays, it may not be possible.
To prevent problems from piling up, Aquarius should focus on chatting about them as they arise, and keeping their partner in the loop.
12. Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Know When To Say No
“Your tendency to just go along with what everyone else wants often leaves you angry and feeling left out,” Robyn says. “It is important to ask for what you want and to say ‘no’ to what you do not want.” And that might even include cancelling a plan or two with their partner.
For Pisces, it’s also helpful if they remember people can’t read their mind, Robyn says, which is why they should state their needs out loud and let their partner know what really matters to them. Instead of silently stewing, they need to speak up and be more honest about their needs.
By keeping these tips in mind, each zodiac sign will have an easier time handling conflict with their partner, and getting back to enjoying the holidays together.